Hello everybody! Its early in the morning and I was having trouble sleeping from all the adrenaline pumping through my veins last night.This happens sometimes after wild shows.I get home and I feel like I have drank about 20 Coffees.This was by far the busiest and wildest day of my life.My stomach is hurting from laughing so much yesterday.Alot of you could not make it to this show so I figured I would let you all know what happened. -Saturday December 16th 2006.Woke up and drove to Brampton to pick up our Videographer {Bootleg}.He is making a DVD of the day and night to be made available soon[THE3TARDS and BEETLEJUICE 2006}So I grabbed him at 10:30am and we headed to the airport to grab Beetle who was arriving at 11:26am at terminal 3 coming in on US AIR.Beetle travels with his Managers Wifes Father, Sal {Pops}.So while waiting in the airport for his plane to arrive we get some funny footage of me wandering around and I even had Beetlejuice paged over the intercom 4 times HAHA.When the plane arrived all the passengers spilled into the terminal..all but Beetle and Pops.About 30 minutes later they came through the doors.What a huge relief!!!!!!!!!! I was starting to think he never got through customs or they had some issue with his ID or something.But he was cool and we greeted each other like lifelong friends and we drove them to the Hotel I had booked for them.In the car we shot a ton of footage of us all talking..Mostly about fucking and hot girls..Beetle loves girls! Some of the footage was so funny I had tears in my eyes while I drove.Beetle was absolutely hilarious.We got to the Hotel checked in and hung out in the room with them for a bit.They were nice enough to bring us about 15 photos and a stack of his new DVD so I had him sign all the stuff for the guys and our friends.We sat and talked for a bit,laughed and talked shit.It was here that I learned that Beetle was Diabetic.He has highs and lows very frequently...more on that later. Bootleg and I left them so they could order some food in and we headed to my home to pack up my car with stuff for the show.We watched some footage and were in shock at how funny it all was.At 3:00pm we left for the Kathedral.I had to stop to grab some gifts for Santa Manson to give out at the show then we arrived at the Kathedral at 4:30pm.Mr Plow and The Antics arrived before doors at 7:00 and we did a great souncheck cuz Bootleg was setting up his computer to record the festivities for the DVD out soon so everything had to be perfect. Bootleg and I left the Kathedral at 6:30 to go pick up Beet and Pops at the hotel.When we got to the hotel pops was saying that Beet had slept the whole time we had left them and that he didnt look well.Beet rolled out of bed took a piss and we headed to the Kathedral.We arrived after doors at about 8:00pm.People on the street were chanting his name as we walked and the crwod was so happy to see him enter the club.We went backstage but Beet was very lethargic.I had to go upstairs and get my Santa Manson suit on to give out gifts with Mr Plow who was playing at the time and I ended up singing Cannibal Cafe with him onstage.Mr Plow had one of his famous Toronto mosh pits again..fuck we love him.He also gave me the greatest Christmas gifts ever!He had MR CHI PIG the singer of SNFU do some artwork for me.He even did some portraits and some 3TARDS artwork.He is by far my favorite punk singer ever and now I have a drawing of me done by him..Damn!!We gave out a bunch of cheesy toy dolls to the crowd and the Antics were up next.I called Beetle up onto the stage and we did a hilarious question and answer with the crowd.It was fuckin hilarious but he still wasnt his happy self I hung out with in the day.City Tv was there following him and I for an Appearance on Eds night party soon and we recorded a bunch of intros for them with the Ed the sock microphone.They wanted footage of us with Beet and the whole Tattoo thing.I am on the show agin {3rd time}in February so im sure we will see the footage then.I love that show!! The Antics kicked mother fuckin ass onstage as per usual.But there was an increasing problem that would not go away.I was supposed to get Tattoed after the antics by beetlejuice and he was now sleeping on the stool in the back of the club.Pops and I took him downstairs so he could have a smoke but he looked like he was going to die.I was extremely worried about him and it was becomming a major issue cuz how the fuck would he be able to Tattoo me in half an hour? Then he started to sway in the chair.I grabbed a bucket and he began to puke.I cant watch that shit so I went upstairs.But before I left I grabbed Pops and said..Brother we have to find a way to make this Tattoo happen people are here to see it.He told me to go upstairs and get Beet a coke.He needed sugar badly.I got the Coke brought it downstairs and WHAMMMMMM!!!!! He woke up!!!!!! COKE HAD SAVED THE DAY!!!!!!!!!!! He started laughing and talking and was telling me how he was going to Tattoo me.I was so relieved..wheww!! I ran on to the stage as the Tattoist {Steve from Thrive Studios in Cambridge}told him all was good and he said the sterile stage would be ready in a minute.I had Beet come upstairs and I assumed the postion in the chair.The crowd was going freakin nuts knowing how fuckin dumb i was.I was going to have Beetlejuice Tattoo his name on my chest.All in good fun.Steve had a great idea that beet should draw on me first with marker letter for letter {He cant spell his name without help} his letters were huge so I had to live with BEETLE cuz if he added the JUICE it would have touched my Flyers Tat on my left chest.BEETLE was fine with me.Earlier in the day Beetle told me he could put BJ..I laughed but there is no way I want fuckin Blow Job on my chest..HAHA..Anyways he wrote BEETLE and then he put the gloves on and Steve walked him through what needed to be done.Beetle grabbed the gun dipped it into the black ink and started tracing.Damn he was digging deep.It hurt so much.And I would know considering I have about 50 hours of work done to me.Steve told him to be a bit lighter with the gun.But Beet carved me up good.In the end it said BEETLE and its crooked and fucked up looking but hell its the coolest Tattoo i have by far.Stupid but cool..HAHA...I looked at my chest in the mirror when i got home last night and shook my head in disbelief.But this Tat does go down in Punk Rock history and I hope one day when we are long since done people remember what I did and how dumb I am for doing it. After the Tattoo stuff was removed from the stage Beet was still pumped and we did another question and answer with the crowd.This one was really funny.I had Beet telling people to fuck off left and right.I even had Beet tell the Ed the Sock Camera crew to fuck off too..HAHA..This whole moment was comedy gold.All of this footage was recorded and it will be hilarious. THE3TARDS!!!!!!!! Now it was time to rock and roll! I went backstage while Beetle introduced the band with Fox Tard onstage.I put on my Costume and awaited Gus Tards cue to kick motherfuckin ass.Bam!!! We exploded into Stuck on you and I ran out onto the stage in a 7 foot penis costume.The crowd loved it.I played 3 songs wearing it and we were kicking total ass.Tight and loud.Then I took off the costume and we played the rest of the set as wild as can be.We had tons of girls up front.Beautiful girls all across the front of the stage.A typical 3TARDS get together.They were all awesome.They knew every word to every song and we loved each and every one of them.Wild set!! Tons of stagediving and mayhem.We all had alot of fun up there.Just before we introduced our last song I called Beetlejuice to the stage.WE wanted him to sing the end of 3TARDED with us.He stood onstage beside Gus Tards drum kit in total disbelief.This is his first punk rock show and it was a wild one.Wjhen we finally got to the end of the song.I sant with him about 20 times..3TARDED..3TARDED...3TARDED...HAHA.This was priceless.It made the night for me.He was truly having a ton of fun up there.When our set was over the Crowd chanted his name in unison and he told them all he loved them in the mic.It was a great set and it was even greater having him be part of it. After our set he took a ton of pics with fans and we talked with people.But he started getting tired again.He woke up in my car on the way to the hotel and wouldnt shut up but every word out of his mouth was priceless to me.The turnout wasnt great for one of our shows.Only about 150.I guess the $20 door was too hefty but he cost us a fortune to get to Toronto.two airfairs,hotel and a big guarantee.People complain about door costs I ask you would you have gotten this much entertainment at a movie for $15? I would have gladly paid $20 for all of this stupidity..HAHA well what can you do the people there had a blast for sure?It was great meeting Sue {Spartygirl}and all the other people that made it out to the show.Especially the ones that drove great distances to hang out with us.The DVD will be in production immediately and I assure you it will be fucking hilarious.Keep checking out our website THE3TARDS.COM this week for a bunch of pictures and stuff with Beet.It was a fun night and a night that I will be reminded of every time I step out of the shower and look into the mirror....fuck!!!!!!
- John Tard