ENROLLING TARDS NOW!!
THE3TARDS have the craziest fans on the planet, and the most loyal.
After much discussion the band has decided on creating a membership club with priveleges like no other club in music history!
Members will recieve items only available to Tard Foundation members - including a laminated, hand-signed Tard Card with incredible 3TARDS breakaway neck strap, and a Tard Foundation Member button.
We are extremely pleased with the Tard Card idea. Each laminated card will have its very own membership # and each card will be hand signed by John Tard himself. This is an extremely important card and Tard Foundation members that wear them to shows will get free gifts, door discounts, and other really cool stuff only available to members!!
People are going to get so jealous of you!
And if you cannot get to any shows you will have the luxury of owning one of the coolest memberships on earth. Guys that wear these will most definitely get laid more often, and the girls will be lining up for miles to have crazy punk rock sex with them.
Girls will wear these as well by the hundreds and thousands, and the jealous punk rock boys will be tripping over their Docs to get near them.
Same-sex couples will be wearing them while having insane crazy same-sex sex all over the place.
Pets who wear them will be having doggy style sex from sun up to sun down!!
Remember these memberships will only be available through this website and at live shows. All we ask, so we can cover costs, is that you send a well hidden $5 bill to...
TARD FOUNDATION HEADQUARTERS
1365 6th Concession Rd. R.R.#2
Branchton ON N0B 1L0
You will recieve an envelope in the mail with your custom 3TARDS neck lanyard, Tard Foundation Member button, hand-signed Tard Card and some top secret information only available to Tard Foundation members!!
Lets get 3TARDED!!