OK, first of all, what a great name, it manages to be both semi-offensive and self-degrading at the same time. Plus, since the band actually has four members in it's roster, and not three, it makes it even funnier. Musically, these guys are a throwback to the mid 80s, and bands such as M.O.D., D.R.I., Dr. Know, S.O.D. (Stormtroopers of Death), Scatterbrain, and a host of other Thrash-lead crossover bands of the day. You've probably already surmised by the band's chosen moniker, that the Tards don't take themselves too seriously, and you'd be correct. In fact, I don't think the members of the band even know what the word "serious" means! The disc starts out with an instrumental intro track entitled "Over The Top". It's pretty good, but it's also a total rip-off of (or maybe it's an "homage" to) S.O.D.'s "March Of The S.O.D." I mean, it's only off by a couple of notes I swear! Anyway, this leads into the Dr. Know-esque ditty "Stuck On You", an old-school, mosh-inducing track with a twisted sense of humour. If the rest of the material on the disc were at this calibre, it would have earned the band a 7.5 at least. However, things go a bit nuts after this. The band is obviously proud of it's non-PC, juvenile brand of humour, and I say go for it, the entertainment world always needs more lowbrow dick jokes. (...huh, huh, I typed "dick"...) However, as amusing as the comedy element might be, it doesn't always translate well when put into song. Tracks that made me smile and chuckle the first time I heard them ("Big Dog Little Dick" & "Crystal Balls") just got downright tedious and somewhat annoying by the fifth time trough the disc. Still, there are tracks that manage to pull it all together, such as "New Punk (Friggin Sucks)". In the end, It's a fun disc. I have to say I love their attitude, and I generally love their basic sound, as I grew up with this stuff 20 years ago. However, if they wanna make it to the next level, they're gonna need to tighten up the song writing a bit, and maybe prioritize structure ahead of comedy. For more info, check out the3tards.com.
RATING = 6 Punk / Crossover (Released 2005)